Biblical Advice – Marriage Message

In this world where there is an overload of information available at our fingertips, we will come across all kinds of advice on how we should live out our married lives. And much of it can be GREAT! We can get advice from family, friends, pastors, counselors, books, DVD’s, CD’s, web sites, blogs on web sites (such as we have on the Marriage Missions web site where we encourage others to help one another in the various aspects of marriage), and Marriage Messages such as this one, to name just a few.

However, the best advice you can get is from God Himself as you pray, and from the Bible. The Bible is a wonderful guide that God has given us to help us live out the principles for loving our spouse as Christ loves the church.

A friend of the ministry named Debbie sent us the following insight that she found in the forward of her father’s pocket Bible after his death. We believe it to be very true and inspirational as well. It reads:

“The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts binding, its histories true, and its decisions immutable. Read it and be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.

“It is the traveler’s map, the pilgrim’s staff, the pilot’s compass, the soldier’s sword, and the Christian’s character. Here Paradise is restored, Heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed.

“CHRIST is its grand subject, our good the design, and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is a mine of greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.”

As far as marriage advice goes, you couldn’t get any better than you will find in the Bible. In every aspect of life, you can use it as your map, compass, and sword of Truth —because it cuts through the garbage that the enemy of our faith tries to get us to embrace. And when you use the Holy Spirit as your Wonderful Counselor to help guide you through the truths given throughout the pages of the Bible, you will learn principles for living that will help you in your marriage.

The following are just a few of the many truths you can use to guide you:

• “Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this“(1 Corinthians 7:27-28).

Even though that advice was given by the Apostle Paul during a time of great persecution, the advice is still something we should pay attention to. If you think you are marrying to ESCAPE trouble or that marriage will be the beginning of an easier life because you believe you have found your “soul mate” think again. Everyone of us has a sinful nature (seeRomans 3:23). And all of us come into marriage with our own expectations, gender differences, personality quirks, temperaments, differing habits, and baggage of one sort or another.

Some of this we know beforehand, and many of these differences will eventually show themselves as we work to “cleave together” as the Bible tells us to do. For this reason (and many others), building a good marriage can be challenging. It can be wonderful… but it can be challenging. Please recognize this. “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.“

• “Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others“ (1 Corinthians 10:24).That’s tough advice. Please don’t marry unless you are prepared to live by this principle. And if you ARE married, you are not the exception to the rule in living out this out in your everyday life.

• “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God —even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saves. Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ“ (1 Corinthians 10:31-33, 11:1).

The question is, are you living your life in this way so that what you do, not only helps your spouse, but it displays what the Lord can do within your marriage? From what others see of how you interact within your marriage, do they see the love and grace of the Lord displayed? Or can those who don’t know the Lord in a personal way shown a picture of hypocrisy? Are your actions such that the Lord can use you to draw others to Himself?

• “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do, no, the evil I do not want to do —this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.“(Romans 7:15-20)

Isn’t this true in marriage? Don’t you sometimes find yourself doing what you know deep inside that you shouldn’t do and you DON’T do what you should? It’s our sin nature rearing its ugly head and we give into it, over and over again.

But as you read the scriptures above, we pray that you will see how important it is to fight that sin nature, because of the problems it causes. We also hope that you work to give your spouse the grace and space you expect your spouse to give you. He or she is also fighting against his or her sin nature as well.

It never ceases to amaze us how, when someone is telling us of the ‘terrible” things his or her spouse is doing, the statement is made, “I know I’m not perfect either” and then he or she names off several things that we’re sure, are equally grievous to his or her spouse, as well. We can be so quick to justify our own actions and try to minimize their importance, and yet we are so quick to condemn the actions of our spouse.

It reminds us of the man in the Bible who was forgiven a HUGE debt, and yet was quick to hold back from forgiving the much smaller debt of someone else. WE want grace from our spouse and from the Lord, but we hold back from giving it out when we are the ones who need to forgive.

• “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” (1 Peter 2:12)

We pray you will live “such good lives” —both within your marriage and outside of it. Follow the principles in the Bible for living, and you will love as Christ does. The Bible truly gives the best marriage advice of anyone anywhere.

Cindy and Steve Wright