The best marriage advice we could ever give anyone is, get into God’s Word, the Bible… read it, and live it. If you do that, you will always be on the right track. This goes beyond being “Bible-believing” Christians. You can talk about what you believe all that you want. That doesn’t do much unless you LIVE in such a way that it shows you believe it. That’s why we want to share with you the following scriptures from the Bible, which can be found in the book of Proverbs.
We did an extensive study on the book of Proverbs and how it relates to our marriages. There are a lot of proverbs (defined as “profound sayings”) that God has given us to learn how to better live with each other. And that’s especially true as it pertains to marriage. The scriptures that teach us how to better live with each other, are the same scriptures that teach us how to better love each other within marriage. God wants us to show love to each other in word and deed. And the book of Proverbs is a great guidebook for helping us to do just that.
So, below you’ll find a few of the marriage proverbs that we gathered, with more that are posted on the web site. We grouped them in categories so you can better see a bigger picture of how God wants us to live together. We’re going to start out with proverbs that talk to us about applying wisdom, and also about acting like fools. Before you read through this list we encourage you to pray, asking God if there is anything, in particular, that you need to pay attention to:
MARRIAGE PROVERBS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Concerning WISDOM, Being PRUDENT, Being a FOOL:
In Proverbs 1:7 we are told, “The fear of the Lord is the BEGINNING of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” And in Proverbs 3:5-7 we’re told:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”
This is the foundation of the wisdom God is giving. Look to the Lord, and take His instruction seriously, or you will be a fool.
Please note:
• “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.” (Proverbs 28:26)
• “The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 15:33)
On the flip side, we’re told in Proverbs 12:15:
• “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes. But a wise man listens to advice.”
• Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 26:12)
Concerning those who hold onto foolish ways:
• “There is a way that seems right, but its end leads to death.” (Proverbs 16:25) The same is stated in Proverbs 14:12, and Proverbs 21:2. This includes the death of a relationship.
In Proverbs 10:21 it is written, “Fools die for lack of sense.”
• “A fool’s lips walk into a fight. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.” (Proverbs 18:6-7)
• “Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, so honor is not fitting for a fool.” (Proverbs 26:1)
• “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.” (Proverbs 23:9)
• “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” (Proverbs 26:4-5)
• “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.” (Proverbs 29:9)
Be Careful With Your Words
• “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 29:20)
• “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
• “A stone is heavy, and sand is weighty, but a fool’s provocation is heavier than both.” (Proverbs 27:3)
• “Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his folly will not depart from him.” (Proverbs 27:22)
• “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.” (Proverbs 14:7)
So leave the room when your spouse starts acting like a fool in what he or she says or does.
• “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.” (Proverbs 18:4)
• “The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it, but the instruction of fools is folly. The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.” (Proverbs 16:21-23)
• “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.” (Proverbs 15:1-2)
• “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.” (Proverbs 26:11)
Ridiculing and Scoffing a Spouse is Foolish
• “’Scoffer’ is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride.” (Proverbs 21:24)
• “The devising of folly is sin, and the scoffer is an abomination to mankind.” (Proverbs 24:9)
• “Scoffers set a city aflame, but the wise turn away wrath.” (Proverbs 29:8)
• “A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.” (Proverbs 15:12)
When we are hurt by something our spouse did or didn’t do, we are tempted to go to a scoffer for advice. It’s tempting to want our “ears tickled” by gaining their support. But that isn’t truly seeking the wisdom we need. Empty yourself of pride and go to the wise to help you when there is a serious marriage snag. You are acting like a fool if you seek out advice from those who will feed you folly. This goes along with the following:
• “The discerning sets his face toward wisdom, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.” (Proverbs 17:24)
• “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” (Proverbs 24:3-4)
• “The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.” (Proverbs 15:14)
Scriptures on the HEARING EAR, and LISTENING:
• “The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the Lord has made them both.” (Proverbs 20:12)
• “Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.” (Proverbs 25:12)
• “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.” (Proverbs 15:31)
• “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” (Proverbs 19:20)
Sometimes it’s difficult to listen to advice that is given by a contentious spouse. But don’t overlook good advice just because the one who is giving it is not being wise in the way they are delivering it to you. Ask yourself if the advice contains even a shred of truth. If it does then grab, and apply it.
• “Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge.” (Proverbs 23:12)
Being VENGEFUL, STIFF NECKED:
• “Do not say, ‘I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.'” (Proverbs 24:29)
• “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil’; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.” (Proverbs 20:22)
• “If anyone returns evil for good, evil will not depart from his house.” (Proverbs 17:13)
• “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” (Proverbs 29:1)
JOKING, Being a MADMAN, Being a FRIEND [to your spouse]:
• “Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor [spouse] and says, ‘I am only joking!'” (Proverbs 26:18-19)
This is to be our goal —to sharpen each other with encouragement, rather than wounding each other:
• “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
• “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” (Proverbs 27:6)
FAITHFULNESS and ADULTERY:
• “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.” (Proverbs 5:15) [Talk intimately only with your spouse—the covenant partner you are joined with in God as a “cord of three strands.”]
• “Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds.” (Proverbs 27:23)
• “Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend, and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.” (Proverbs 27:10)
• “A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.” (Proverbs 29:5)
• “Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his home.” (Proverbs 27:8)
We may think we can get away with being unfaithful. We reason that “God wouldn’t want us to be unhappy.” But God does not see it that way. So you do what makes you “happy” and you think it’s okay to hurt others around you? Think again.
• “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife. None who touches her will go unpunished.” (Proverbs 6:27-29)
• “For a prostitute is a deep pit; an adulteress is a narrow well. She lies in wait like a robber and increases the traitors among mankind.” (Proverbs 23:27-28)
• “There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth.” (Proverbs 30:12)
• “This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.'” (Proverbs 30:20)
Take Note:
God promises us that whether it is physically, and/or emotionally, we cannot act in unfaithful ways. If we do we will be punished. Read further of God’s further warnings concerning unfaithfulness in chapters 5,6, and 7 of Proverbs. Do not be unfaithful in word, deed—online, or otherwise. It matters to your spouse and it matters to your children.
• “The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!” (Proverbs 20:7)
Remember what we’re told in Proverbs 11:29, “Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind.”
It is our prayer that everyone who is reading this Insight will live faithfully within your marriage from this day forward until you are parted by death.
Be a Positive Spiritual Force Within This World
In the next Marriage Insight we will be posting the rest of the Proverbs that we found pertain to how we live our married life together. In the meantime, keep in mind something that Gary Thomas wrote:
“A holy couple, joined in marriage, studying God’s Word together, can slowly become a spiritual force in a world that desperately needs spiritually strong people. Can you imagine this kind of spiritual connection in your own marriage? Bible reading is one of the best ways to head in that direction.” (From the Focusonthefamily.com article, Spiritual Connection: Having a Proverb 31 Marriage)
Of course, Bible reading is important, but going the next step where you are living what you have read is even more impactful. It’s important to read, believe, AND live what you read and say you believe. Live this way outside of your marriage but especially within it.
We’ll leave you with scripture to keep in mind that is written in another part of the Bible:
“Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” (James 1:22-25 ESV)
Cindy and Steve Wright
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