Marriage Insight: Favorite Marriage Advice – Part Two

Marriage Insight: Favorite Marriage Advice – Part Two

Last week Cindy shared with you some of her all time favorite advice for marriage that she has gleaned over the years. This week I (Steve) have the honor of sharing with you a few of my favorites. Some of it will be directed specifically toward the guys. That’s because my passion is to help husbands love their wives in such a way that honors God.

Al Janssen, from his book, “The Marriage Masterpiece,” puts it this way: "One of the original purposes of marriage as God intended it in the Garden of Eden was to reflect his image. That means marriage is about something bigger than the two of us. Marriage is one of God’s primary means of speaking to the world, and the world takes notice when a man truly loves his wife the way ‘Christ loves his church.’"

Janssen went on to give us men how this looks in practical terms: "I have numerous opportunities every day to give up what I want to do and instead serve my wife. In this way, I glorify God because my sacrifice is a reflection of his heart and how he loves his bride. I’ve finally realized that my marriage is satisfying to the degree that I daily sacrifice myself for my wife’s good. What does that mean?

• It means biting my tongue when I’d rather defend myself against something she said.

• It means getting up in the middle of the night when a child cries rather than pretending I don’t hear anything.

• It means putting down my reading material and really listening when she wants to talk.

• It means taking over some chores when she’s got a hectic day.

• It means cleaning the kitchen Sunday evening rather than leaving the mess for her to face on Monday morning.

• It means that when I’m accidentally exposed to porn while channel surfing in a hotel room far from home, I shut off the TV because I won’t allow any impure thoughts to invade my marriage.”

I can tell you that when I started to practice Janssen’s principles in our marriage it transformed our marriage. One of the other principles that dramatically changed our marriage was when Cindy and I realized how important it was for us to have a “grace based marriage.” Dr. Tim Kimmel and his wife, Darcy, explain it this way:

“When people see a husband and wife relating to each other in a context of God’s grace, when they see us go to the foot of the cross when we’ve lost our way, when they see us still caring for each other when life has given us many reasons to walk out, the gospel is validated.  We may never know how much God’s grace rubs off of us onto others.  But it does.  When we take our spiritual purpose to heart, our sense of significance grows eternal muscles.  It’s what happens when we make it our priority to reflect God’s majesty through grace-filled marriages.” (From “Grace Filled Marriage”)