Marriage Insights - Peace and Good Will in Marriage

Peace and Good Will in Marriage

Before you read this Marriage Insight ask God to show you what truth may be in it for YOU…

“Peace on Earth; Good Will Toward Men” (from Luke 2 account of Jesus’ birth) is one of THE most used phrases this time of year. In many churches we greet one another with, “Peace of Christ to you,” to which we reply, “…and with you.” Great sentiments and it sounds good when we say it. But are we living it out in our marriages?

I (Steve) believe we all want peace in our marriages and homes. I mean who wants strife, anger and arguing to be the norm? That wasn’t on my mind on my wedding day – that Cindy and I would be embroiled in anger towards each other. It wasn’t on your mind either. But does it? 

One imperfect sinner (man) married another imperfect sinner (woman) brings our pre-conceived, unrealistic expectations into the marriage. The natural outcome of this union is not peace and good will. It’s chaos and conflict. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be peace and good will? It just means that we will have to be dependent on the Perfect God of Peace to be at the center of our marriage to teach us both HOW to “do” marriage.

How does this happen? By making some small (and large) decisions every day to deny self and put your spouses needs ahead of your own. Here are a few suggestions on how to begin:

First, pray that you start to see your marriage through “new” eyes. Here’s a wedding prayer to inspire you as you do this: “May we not expect perfection that belongs alone to you, God. May we minimize each other’s weaknesses. And may we be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths. May we see each other through kind and patient eyes. At the end of our days, may we be found hand in hand, thanking God for each other. May we serve you happily and faithfully until one shall lay the other into your arms.” (Adapted from D. Hankins prayer)

And then here’s something practical to implement that make significant changes. They are “3 Questions to Ask Each Other Every Week: -Is there anything that I need to apologize for? (i.e. Did I do anything that hurt you?) -Is there anything you need from me that you’re not getting? -How can I be a better spouse? …Marriage partnership is about telling and living in truth. These 3 questions can help. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to the questions and answers truthfully and sincerely.” (Karen O’Connor)

We know some of you may feel you’re too far “gone” to even dream of seeing Peace and Good Will in your marriage. Don’t buy that lie! It’s like the old adage, “How do you eat an elephant?” Answer: “One bite at a time.” It’s the same way with changing the culture in your marriage. You start with one small thing and see how God uses it to open the door for the next small thing.

Closing Thought: Remember that the first part of the verse in Luke 2 states Glory to God In The Highest … and then … Peace On Earth, Good Will To Men. It is Cindy and my prayer that you all experience the Glory of God in your marriage and that your marriage WILL BRING Glory To God.

May you be blessed,

Steve and Cindy Wright