Marriage Insights - Quotes on “Preparing for Marriage” Part 3

Quotes on “Preparing for Marriage” Part 3

All too often, people marry before acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to take care of their mates: to meet their emotional, mental, and physical needs. One of the ironies in our society is that a person has to have four years of training to receive a plumber’s license, but absolutely no training is required for a marriage license. Our educational system doesn’t even require communication courses basic to the meaningful development of any relationship. (Dr Gary Smalley)

• A wedding is not a marriage. A wedding is only the beginning of an undertaking that may or may not, someday, develop into a marriage. What the couple have on their wedding day is not the key to a beautiful garden, but just a vacant lot and a few gardening tools. (David and Vera Mace)

• A marriage is not a joining of two worlds, but an abandoning of two worlds in order that one new one might be formed.In this sense, the call to be married bears comparison with Jesus’ advice to the rich young man to sell all his possessions and to follow Him. It is a vocation to total abandonment. For most people, in fact, marriage is the single most wholehearted step they will ever take toward a fulfillment of Jesus’ command to love one’s neighbor as oneself. (Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage)

• If your partner seems unable or unwilling to change, you have to face the possibility that such behavior may never change. The mistake many people make is to ignore the problem and say to themselves, “Oh, it’ll get better once we’re married.” Marriage will not magically transform your partner’s behavior. If a person is not motivated to make improvements at this stage, before marriage, it is unlikely he or she ever will. The longer you wait, the less likely it will be that your partner can change. If you or your partner cannot behave in a way that makes you both happy, you are not the right partners for each other. (From the book, “Wonderful Marriage” by Lilo and Gerard Leeds)

• The moment you know that this is the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, you should start the engagement process. Once you know this, the nature of the relationship changes. You view actions differently, the pressure to have sex increases, and your relationship with others is affected. If you’re considering getting engaged, write out the sentence Staying married is hard work fifty times. …Though I say this with some humor, I think these points bear repeating: Don’t underestimate the work involved, but don’t panic either. (Kay Cole James, What I Wish I’d Known before I God Married)