Being Dispensers of Grace

Photo credit: katerha / Foter / CC BY

In our frailty as human beings it’s often easier to see the “speck” in our spouse’s eye, rather than the “log” that is in our own. We should never neglect to give the grace (unmerited favor) to our spouse that we expect our spouse to give to us at different times.
It tells us in James 1:19 to “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.“ Can each of us honestly claim that we conduct ourselves in our married lives as we’re told in this verse to do?
I will be the first to confess that sometimes I get that concept jumbled around —there are times that I speak before I should and become quickly angry, and yet slow to listen to what Steve needs me to hear —which is just plain wrong because that’s not how you build marital bridges of understanding. It’s a way of tearing them down and building walls between us instead.
Steve and I are learning how to better relate to each other, but it’s good to be reminded of scriptures like these so we straighten things around the right way if needed.
In our everyday walk in our marriage, we need to be careful not to bristle over situations that really won’t matter that much over the course of our married lives. It would be good to ask ourselves if we’re as slow to become angry with our spouse, as God is with us. Our Heavenly Father is our perfect example of this as He’s described in Psalm 103:8. It says, “The Lord is compassionate, and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness.“
Ask the Lord to help you not to “major on that which is minor” in the bigger scheme of things. And ask Him to help you to be a peace-maker in your home — not picking up offenses so easily.
Jeremiah 33:8 says, “They sinned against me, but I will wash away that sin.” Pastor Max Lucado in the devotional book, Everyday Blessings says the following about that verse (that we can all learn from):

“The next time you see or think of the one who broke your heart, look twice. As you look at his face, look also for His face —the face of the One who forgave you. Look into the eyes of the King who wept when you pleaded for mercy. Look into the face of the Father who gave you grace when no one else gave you a chance… and then, because God has forgiven you more than you’ll ever be called on to forgive in another, set your enemy —and yourself —free.”

Our prayer for you this week (and also for us) is that together we will strive to be dispensers of grace, rather than vessels of criticism and unforgiveness. We pray that together we will work to make our marriages a living testimony of the grace of God.
Something else that Dr Lucado said in an interview article titled Grace Matters (written by Ginger Kolbaba in the Spring 2005 issue of Marriage Partnership Magazine) is important to remember in how we give grace and forgiveness to our spouse. He said,

“I learned that the purpose of my marriage is not for [my wife] Denalyn to watch over my kids and take care of my home so I can advance a career. That’s the ultimate display of self-centeredness. And I’m so glad Denalyn forgave me [for forgetting that].
“A good marriage is a canvas on which God can paint a picture of how he’s able to bring harmony. It’s so God can unite two hearts so that somebody somewhere can look at that marriage and say, ‘Whoa, look at the work God did there.’ And that includes a whole lot of forgiveness and grace.”

2 Peter 1:1-11 is a challenge for all of us:

“To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours: Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus Christ our Lord.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
“For this very reason, make every effort to add your faith goodness; and knowledge, self-control; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. for if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
“Therefore, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.“

We pray you have a blessed week and that you’ll be a blessing in your marriage!
Cindy and Steve Wright