Marriage Insights - Quotes on "Preparing for Marriage"

Quotes on "Preparing for Marriage"

You may not know exactly what your family plans are, but it is important to start the discussion now so you can discover if there are big issues that could divide you later. In a good relationship, where there is agreement, such discussions will only bring you closer together. Serious disagreements over whether to have children or not can put an end to an otherwise strong relationship. It’s best to face this possible crossroad sooner rather than later. (From the book “Wonderful Marriage” by Lilo and Gerard Leeds)

• Remember, you are moving toward a lifetime commitment. Whatever is concealed now will eventually be revealed. (Dennis Rainey, Preparing for Marriage)

• When we consider marriage, we need to evaluate our past problems and how they may affect our prospective marriage. Many Christians and non-Christians think that marriage is the perfect “escape hatch” from their past. Actually, marriage often multiplies the destructive impact of former problems. For example, consider uncontrolled anger. Some who struggle in this area may never actually “blow up” at their dates or fiancés. This may lead both partners to conclude that the anger will not cause problems in marriage, even though it may still be causing problems in other non-romantic relationships.

After they get married, they are discouraged to find that their outbursts of anger are alive and well. When married, those who cannot control their anger typically turn their fits of rage primarily toward their spouses, often causing alienation and hurt within the marriage. Clearly, we should learn as much self-control over our anger as possible before marriage. We may also need to explore the reasons for our rage episodes. But anger is no different than other areas of damage in our lives. Unresolved problems from the past are rarely solved by marriage, but the marriage can be damaged by them. (Dennis McCallum and Gary DeLashmutt, The Myth of Romance)

• The fact that you’re having disagreements with each other isn’t a problem –that just shows that there are some areas of your relationship that need to be worked on. And that’s normal. People are different, so of course you’re going to run into times where your differences come out and rub each other the wrong way. But what’s important is that you both commit to work on those differences until both of you are satisfied. When you do that, you’re walking the right road together and over the long-run you’ll do just fine. (Cindy Wright)

• When you marry, it’s to approach life as a team “from this day forth.” It’s to change the way we live. (Cindy Wright)

• Make a plan for your marriage. Going into marriage without a plan is like playing a football game without memorizing the playbook. If you are going to win, you have to have team meetings, set goals, learn and relearn skills, learn how to lead and follow, and share responsibilities. You both need a copy of the playbook. If you want a “till death do us part” marriage you enter. (Julie Baumgardner Firstthings.org)