Marriage Insight: Encouragement Should Begin at Home

Marriage Insight: Encouragement Should Begin at Home

Last week we called for an “army of marriage encouragers” and mentors to rise up to help those who need it. We’ve had a great response. Many of you have visited the Marriage Missions web site, have prayed for & have written words of encouragement to hurting spouses. THANK YOU! Keep up the good work—on our web site & elsewhere. We pray many more will join with us in this ministry opportunity. (FYI: We added more info into that Insight, which is posted on our web site at www.marriagemissions.com. We believe you will find it to be helpful to read, as you carry out this mission.) But we dare not neglect the fact that encouragement should begin at home. 

Please don’t neglect your spouse while you encourage others. Your bride or groom should receive the benefit of the best of your attention and words. Minister to him or her FIRST, and THEN, from that healthy perspective, go out and minister to others. We’re talking about the 1 Corinthians 7 principle. Once you marry, put your spouse first, as far as your outreach.

Here are several scriptures, questions, and points to challenge us all in our marriages (with an expanded version posted in this Insight on our web site):

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Do you encourage and build up your spouse? Did you promise to do this when you said, "I do" on your wedding day? Are you living within your marriage in a way that shows you are a promise-keeper?

"Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up." (Romans 15:2) You can't get a neighbor who is much closer to you than your spouse. Are you a builder?

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) Is your talk wholesome? Does it benefit those who listen (including your spouse & your children)? “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.“ (Prov. 14:1) This can apply to men too. Are you tearing down your "house" or are you building it up?

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) This applies to our spouse, AND to others. Don't neglect comforting. Show compassion.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25) Do you "spur" your spouse "toward love and good deeds?" Does your spouse know, without a doubt that you love him or her?

Remember: “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (Proverbs 25:11) Speak words to your spouse that express your appreciation of him or her. The things you say to your spouse can become as “apples of gold in settings of silver.” Your spouse, who receives them, will be blessed that you paid attention and shared those words of appreciation.

This is our hope for you: "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had." (Romans 15:5)

Cindy and Steve Wright